BFRB Brave: Courage in the Face of Trichotillomania

There’s an old saying that goes something like this: Courage isn’t the absence of fear. It is the conquest of it. (There’s a lot of debate about who actually said it, but most sources attribute versions of it to Mark Twain, Nelson Mandela, and others.) Regardless of who said it, the sentiment remains the same: having courage doesn’t mean you’re fearless or that you have to be.

Courage isn’t about living without fear or challenges; it’s about facing those difficulties with resilience, compassion, and determination. Living with trichotillomania (commonly referred to as “trich” or “hair pulling”) is challenging. It’s also an opportunity to discover what it truly means to be courageous. When dealing with trich, bravery takes on many forms, whether it’s seeking help, sharing your story, or choosing to continue moving forward when a setback arises.

Understanding Courage in the Context of Trichotillomania

When we think of courage or bravery, what usually comes to mind are images of heroic acts and grand gestures, but bravery is also more subtle and deeply personal. When living with trich, bravery is about the choices you make each day to confront a condition that can feel isolating and frustrating. It’s about acknowledging your struggles and still choosing to face the world with authenticity and grace.

Courage in this context means accepting that your journey with trich might not always be smooth, and that’s okay. It’s about recognizing that even on the toughest days, you’re still trying. And that is an act of bravery. 

Just what does courage look like? There’s no single answer. How a person chooses to face their trich will be as unique as they are. Some find strength in finding a purpose in their pain. Others find strength in taking control of their situation and doing things that are empowering and nurturing. 

Nurturing Your Own Inner Strength

Courage isn’t a single “thing”. Rather, it’s a way of approaching a challenging situation with strength and self-compassion. And the good news is, there are ways to nurture your inner strength while living with trich:

Practice Acceptance

Living with trich comes with unique challenges and emotions. People living with trich often struggle with feelings of frustration, shame, guilt, and more. Rather than pushing these feelings away, acknowledge them. Acceptance doesn’t mean you like what’s happening. Acceptance simply means you allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up without judgment.

When you accept your emotions, you create space for healing and growth. It’s an act of courage to sit with your feelings, to acknowledge that they are a part of your journey, and to trust that they will pass. 

Small Victories with Big Benefits

Bravery doesn’t always come in heroic acts or big, dramatic moments. Most often, bravery is found in the small victories – the little things you do each day to manage your trich:

• the days when you resist the urge to pull
• the acts of self-kindness and compassion
• the moments when you give yourself grace
• the times you reach out for support

While seeing the small victories isn’t always easy, it’s important to celebrate them. They are a testament to your determination, your strength, and your resilience. Recognizing and celebrating even the smallest win reinforces your strength and confidence. It’s a powerful reminder that every step forward, no matter how small, is progress. 

Practice Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is essentially extending kindness to yourself, as you would do for others. While some people see self-compassion as being “too easy” on oneself or “not taking responsibility”, self-compassion actually sets the stage for resilience to grow and courage to emerge. Treating yourself with kindness helps you to build connection with yourself and develop the emotional strength needed to face challenges like trich. 

Here's the truth: you’re going to have setbacks. It’s part of the healing process. When it happens, rather than being your own worst critic, practice self-compassion. Give yourself grace. Remind yourself that everyone struggles. Mistakes are ok and are opportunities for learning. What matters most is that you keep going.

Seek Support

Courage doesn’t mean going it alone. On the contrary, having a supportive network can be a source of strength in the most challenging times. Reaching out for support is a powerful act of bravery. 

Support can come from many sources:

• Supportive family
• A therapist
• A support group or online community
• A trusted friend

Support also means allowing yourself to accept help from others, sometimes simply leaning on others when things get tough. It’s ok to need help, ask for help, and accept it. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness. 

Stories of Courage

Some people find strength in sharing their stories and how others face their trich can be inspiring! There are many brave people who openly share their trich stories and journeys. They often describe feeling that doing so is healing and empowering. For others, reading about people with similar experiences and how they’ve overcome their struggles is a source of strength and inspiration. 

Embrace Your Journey

A journey is never a straight line but rather a path with lots of twists and turns. Embrace your own journey with all its ups and downs, knowing that every step you take along your path is an act of courage. Some days will be easier than others. Each day you choose to move forward, despite the challenges, you are nurturing your strength and choosing to be brave. Remember, your trich is a part of your life. However, it does not define who you are.

The Bottom Line

Courage isn’t about being fearless; it’s about facing your fears with an open heart. It’s about choosing to live authentically, even when it’s hard. As you navigate your journey with trich, remember that each step you take is a testament to your strength and bravery.

References 

1. Idnani, A. (2021, October 7). Trichotillomania: From concealing to healing. This Is My Brave. https://thisismybrave.org/news/trichotillomania-from-concealing-to-healing/

2. Jeffery, E. (n.d.). Living with trichotillomania - Elyssa's success story | Daniel alain. Daniel Alain Articles. https://blog.danielalain.com/articles/living-with-trichotillomania