Hello I'm new to the site and looking for advice and support

I have been pulling on and off (mostly on) since I was very young. I'm in my mid thirties now and it has really taken a toll on my self esteem. I'm now having trouble finding new ways to part my hair, I have very dark hair so I use make up on my scalp to conceal the bald spots and thinning. I'm not sure how bad the permanent damage is at this point but I believe my very front centre part wont grow back from what I see.i really want to actively stop its embarrassing and anyone I've tried to open up to has said "just stop doing it that's so messed up you just keep pulling it out". It has gone through phases throughout my life. Sometimes my head, eyebrows, and eyelashes. As of right now not having difficulty with brows and eyelashes are a rare go to. My scalp however is literally red and has a slight burning sensation from the pulling I've done the past few weeks. My once beautiful thick shiny hair is getting thin and awful. Its getting harder to hide and any peach fuzz that tries to grow gets plucked out. And it comes out easy. Its so frustrating and i need to figure this out. I want to overcome this and not look back.