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Nienna , 11 Sep 2016

Addicted to the pain

Hi guys, I was wondering if any of you feel the same way, but the reason I pull at my hair is because I like the sharp feeling of pain... I don't even have to yank the hair out, just as long as it is painful :/ Sometimes I use a sharp object like a pen or my nails to poke at my head instead of pulling at the hairs :/
I've been pulling since high school, specifically just in 2 spots, on the right side behind my ear and right on top of my head. The hair is thin there but isn't too noticeable unless you really pay attention, but I'm worried it will get worse :(
I don't really understand why the painful feeling is so pleasurable to me, it seems so morbid, but I just can't stop wanting more D: There are days when I pull / poke so much that my scalp becomes so sore that I'm forced to stop... I've tried searching on other trich forums but no one seems to share this motivation to pull...

5 Answers
Blossem
September 19, 2016
I believe that I also pull for the slight feeling of pain. I'm also addicted to popping. Especially the ones that cause that quick slight sense of pain/release of pressure. I'm covered in tattoos and have a lot of piercings too, so I do obviously like the feeling of pain. You are definitely not alone as I feel like a lot of people with Trich or Derm have the same feelings of pleasure from it. I feel like it would be much easier to quit if I couldn't handle or didn't like the pain so much :( it definitely sucks as I'm covered in sores and scares bc of this horrible addiction that I've had for far too long!
Sleevs
September 21, 2016
I've been pulling my body hair out since I was about 9 years old. It started after I stopped taking Ritalin twice a day for 2 years straight. A possible ymptom of stimulant withdrawal and I never restricted it to a single spot. Crotch, arms' chest, legs, back etc...
At this point it's mutilation. My hands are constantly stained in my own blood. I barely have any pubes left. I look like a walking hamburger. I guess during the earlier days there was a masochistic pleasure associated with the act, if only to ease the emotional pain of the long term damage I was doing to my skin. I don't really get any pleasure out of it anymore.
Now I just kind of smell like old blood all the time and it's almost impossible to wash off.
I'm just wondering when I'll have pulled my hair for the last time, so I don't have to live with it anymore.
I'm sorry you have to go through this to. 3
Sleevs
September 21, 2016
I've been pulling my body hair out since I was about 9 years old. It started after I stopped taking Ritalin twice a day for 2 years straight. A possible ymptom of stimulant withdrawal and I never restricted it to a single spot. Crotch, arms' chest, legs, back etc...
At this point it's mutilation. My hands are constantly stained in my own blood. I barely have any pubes left. I look like a walking hamburger. I guess during the earlier days there was a masochistic pleasure associated with the act, if only to ease the emotional pain of the long term damage I was doing to my skin. I don't really get any pleasure out of it anymore.
Now I just kind of smell like old blood all the time and it's almost impossible to wash off.
I'm just wondering when I'll have pulled my hair for the last time, so I don't have to live with it anymore.
I'm sorry you have to go through this to. 3
Deramoon90
September 25, 2016
its the same with me the pain of it is what keeps me going i have also struggled with cutting for the same reason
Sleevs
September 25, 2016
I'm sorry you have to go through that too. I've cut before as well but it didn't do the same thing for me that picking did.
I started looking at a hair not picked as an experience point. It's geeky but it kind of works for me. No need to let the same old habits control us. Might as well replace it with something that makes you laugh instead.

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