All alone

Hi everyone. I have Trich and nobody knows except my two best friends! I havent told my parents OR siblings. I'm very scared for this to keep going on with out any special support ( special fidget toys, support from family, medications, or therapy). I want to spill the beans more than you know but I just can't build up the courage to do so. I know my mom would try to help out best she could, but I just can't. Please help me. I want to relate to someone full of anxiety and fear like me. Thank you for listening to me.