Completely stopped since 2 weeks, THIS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE

Hi. I've had trich for 5 years since I was 14, now I'm almost 19. Two weeks ago I had gone out as I usually do every week, and it was such a fun night this time. There's this guy who is super funny and cute but WAAAY out of my league, BUT I believe he thinks I'm funny as well! Then I got home and I thought to myself: I want a boyfriend. (Because I've never had one except once when I was like 6) And then I thought: wait, guys don't fall for girls with short hair and I especially am half bald. So I lay in bed and I think of ways to stop, which I do often.

And then I had the idea to look for an app that tracks how many days you have gone without your bad habit. I've had apps like that before, but never really paid attention to them and eventually I would just delete them. And I swear to god this isn't an ad but I found an app called Quitzilla. What you have to do is you put in that you are going to start now, and then it counts the days you have gone without. If you slip, you have to be honest with yourself and put that in, and then the clock starts all over again.

In the first two days I slipped 3 times because I got in a trance and I didn't realize I was doing it. Since then I haven't done it. When my hands go up to my head, I quickly notice and put them back down. You also have to enter why you want to stop, and I put in "Because I want to finally have a boyfriend, I want to be pretty and I want more confidence".

Also, I haven't told anyone ever that I have trichotillomania, not even my best friends. I tell everyone my hair just falls out. And in the past 2 weeks I've been telling them "I think my hair is growing back for the first time in 5 years! xd xd" and everyone gets super excited lol if only they knew. But that helps as well because now everyone is waiting for results.

Something happened that I think also had an effect on the sudden change. I was at a party and someone's hair looked nice so I pointed that out. And then she said: "You don't have nice hair. But you do have a beautiful face, if you had hair you would just be too pretty" and I didn't know whether to be insulted or happy by that statement. Because somebody never sincerely called me pretty out of themselves before, and also, being too pretty is exactly what I want!!! Because then I can get that beautiful man haha!

So it's definitely a lot of circumstantial events that brought me to this point. I strongly believe it's over. I have never gone without pulling for anything longer than a day, especially without distraction as in a vacation or something. I don't get in that trance anymore where I just start without knowing, and then catch myself and continue to do it. I think the slight urge to pull that stays in the background will fade more and more. I can't wait to have long curls again, I'm SUPER PUMPED!!! xoxo