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bellaeadie , 25 Apr 2018

Trich is starting to really hurt but I can't stop...! Advice!

I have had trich for as long as I can remember, my mum used to tell me off about the bald patches on my head around aged 7 and I am now 24 and still going. For most of my teenage years when the obsession was getting worse I was constantly looking for "crinkle hairs", I would call them, meaning coarser thicker hairs than my naturally fine hair. I would pull these out, sometimes get myself into a complete trance where I would stand and focus on finding the right hair for hours on end....I kept going for so long that I now very rarely come across a "crinkle hair" anymore as they have all been pulled out. Recently I have found that I have got worse because I'm desperate to "feel" something on my scalp. I have less hairs that I desire to pull out (just a few a day...) but now I use one of my nails to dig into the scalp until it hurts in the same way as pulling out a hair would. I have got to the point where I have 3-4 places on my scalp which are cut and painful, but i continue to pull the hair there or pick at the skin, almost wanting to cause the pain. It even hurts when I wash my hair now. Whether it is caused by stress or simply habit I have yet to work out. I would love some advice on how to prevent myself from doing this - I want to actually WANT to stop. PLEASE HELP ME STOP!

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catalina
May 08, 2018
you want to stop! that means you know on some level you can stop. i relate to the trances, coarse hairs, need for sensation verging on pain and i also pull out of an interrelated mixture of stress and habit, but also boredom. one thing you can do is try to find other ways of going into 'trance states' that are soothing and not self-destructive. i really like watching asmr videos and exercising. although trance states aren't really acknowledged in our society i think they are really important as a way to take a break and process. second, get tons of tactile toys that you like and put them everywhere. i carry around screws in my pocket and i wear a metal ring with a triangle on it that i only wear to fiddle with. lastly, i think vigorous exercise is a type of release that is comparable to the type of 'good pain' i associate with hairpulling and skin picking. running especially can be so challenging and immersive that it's really distracting and empowering. but whatever works for you! you can do it!

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