COMING OUT

I’m now 56 yoa and I’ve been going to see doctors since I was 9 years, of age ( 47 years ago ) but weren’t able to prescribe me anything without my parents consent as I was under 18 yoa and this is something I wouldn’t divulge to my parents, due to embarrassment and shame.

Although my GP’s were aware of my hair loss,
they assumed it was Alopecia and I lacked faith in their abilities because of their incorrect diagnosis, which in turn caused me to remain quite about my hair loss being self inflicted.

The only way I could Block Out or Temporarily Control TTM was by finding Hobbies that would distract my attention. This Self Control System meant forcing myself to develop a Manic Side which would surpass the overwhelming feelings to pull. TTM is considered by many experts to be a form of self harming.

At the age of 9, I was an only child and felt insecure, and picked on by several school teachers. I started staring in the mirror and decided to borrow my mums tweezers and decided to start Plucking the Eye Brows between the Bridge and after 6 months it became an Uncontrollable Urge.

I plucked up the courage to tell my mum, as I couldn’t control the problem as I felt I was at my Whits End and she unexpectedly told me to pluck hairs from elsewhere, meaning other parts of the body and we never had the conversation regarding Plucking ever Again.

I was deeply saddened by my mums response,
which made me feel alienated and unloved as she showed me no affection, compassion or empathy.

My mum then went and told her sister and two of my aunties, this really upset me and made me feel that I couldn’t confide in her or trust her with matters that I perceived to be strictly personal, private and confidential ( PPC ).