BRFB Brave: Embracing Self-Compassion with Trichotillomania

Living with trichotillomania, a body-focused repetitive behavior (BFRB) commonly referred to as “trich” or “hair-pulling”, can be challenging. It often brings feelings of frustration, shame, and isolation. It’s a journey that is marked by lots of ups and downs, twists and turns. 

When we think about managing trich, what usually comes to mind first is resisting the urge to pull and, yes, that is an important part of the process. However, managing trich is also about managing the emotional side of the disorder and finding strength within. 

Developing a deep sense of self-compassion and acceptance is key to building this inner strength. Self-compassion and acceptance can transform the way you experience trich and contribute to a greater sense of well-being. 

Self-Compassion Defined

When you think of self-compassion, you may think of being nice to yourself or treating yourself the way you’d treat a friend going through the same situation. You wouldn’t be wrong but true self-compassion is much more than that. 

There are a lot of ways to define self-compassion. Self-compassion expert Kristin Neff describes self-compassion as being kind and understanding towards yourself, especially when you fall short. Instead of harshly judging yourself for real or imagined shortcomings, you recognize that you are human with a human’s inadequacies. You treat yourself with respect, kindness, and grace. Self-compassion is about being mindfully aware of your personal struggle, ruminating less about the negative aspects of your experience, and focusing on positivity. 

In the context of trich, self-compassion means acknowledging the challenges you face without judgment and offering yourself grace, patience and understanding as you navigate your journey. 

Why Self-Compassion Matters

Self-compassion may seem like a small thing but it’s a powerful quality that can have significant impacts on one’s emotional well-being. 

Reduces Negative Emotions

Research has found that a lack of self-compassion is more strongly associated with negative feelings and emotions including depression, self-esteem, body shame, fear of failure, and distress. Positive self-evaluations, on the other hand, were shown to be strongly associated with emotional awareness, goal re-engagement, and compassion for others. 

When you respond to your trich with self-compassion, you reduce feelings of shame, guilt, and self-criticism. These negative emotions often exacerbate the condition, creating a vicious cycle. By practicing self-compassion, you can break this cycle and create a more supportive internal environment.

Promotes Resilience

Resilience is the ability to successfully adapt to difficult or challenging experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility. Self-compassion strengthens your emotional awareness and resilience, helping you bounce back from setbacks. Instead of feeling defeated by a relapse, self-compassion allows you to see it as a temporary hurdle and encourages you to keep moving forward.

Enhances Motivation

Contrary to the belief that self-criticism is necessary for improvement, research shows that self-compassion actually increases motivation, especially towards personally meaningful goals.  When you treat yourself with kindness, you are more likely to engage in positive behaviors that support your well-being.

Tips for Cultivating Self-Compassion

There are things you can do to strengthen your self-compassion:

1. Practice Mindful Awareness: Mindfulness is the practice of staying present and fully engaging with your current experience without judgment. When you notice the urge to pull or feelings of frustration, take a moment to pause and observe these feelings without reacting to them. Acknowledge your emotions as they are, without labeling them as “good” or “bad.” This non-judgmental awareness is the first step in cultivating self-compassion.
2. Use Compassionate Self-Talk: Pay attention to the way you speak to yourself, especially when you encounter challenges or setbacks. Replace harsh, critical thoughts with kinder, more supportive ones. This shift in self-talk can dramatically improve how you feel about yourself.
3. Create a Self-Compassion Ritual: Develop a daily ritual that reinforces self-compassion. This could be as simple as placing your hand over your heart and taking a few deep breaths while repeating a compassionate mantra, such as, “May I be kind to myself today.” Consistent practice can help you internalize these feelings of self-compassion, making them a natural part of your response to challenges.
4. Seek Help: Treatment can help you manage your symptoms as well as cultivate a more compassionate and accepting approach to trich. A combined approach to therapy known as ACT-Enhanced Behavior Therapy may be helpful to address both the behavioral and the cognitive aspects of trich. This approach combines principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with other behavioral strategies typically used to treat BFRBs, including Habit Reversal Training (HRT).

By embracing self-compassion, you can create a strong foundation for managing the disorder with grace and strength. Remember, your worth is not defined by your struggles, but by your ability to face them with kindness and understanding. As you continue on your journey, let self-compassion and acceptance guide you toward a more peaceful and fulfilling life.

References

1. Neff, K. D., Long, P., Knox, M. C., Davidson, O., Kuchar, A., Costigan, A., … Breines, J. G. (2018). The forest and the trees: Examining the association of self-compassion and its positive and negative components with psychological functioning. Self and Identity, 17(6), 627-645. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298860309032

2. Weingarden, H., & Renshaw, K. D. (2015). Shame in the obsessive compulsive related disorders: a conceptual review. Journal of affective disorders, 171, 74–84. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2014.09.010

3. https://dictionary.apa.org/resilience?_gl=1*1ukdg6u*_ga*MTQxOTc1NjU5Ni4xNzE3ODcyMjI5*_ga_SZXLGDJGNB*MTcxNzg3MjIzMC4xLjAuMTcxNzg3MjIzNS4wLjAuMA..

4. Ortiz, A., Goold, A., Zhang, J.W. (2023). Self-Compassion, Personal Improvement, and Motivation. In: Finlay-Jones, A., Bluth, K., Neff, K. (eds) Handbook of Self-Compassion. Mindfulness in Behavioral Health. Springer, Cham. https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-031-22348-8_12

5. Evidence-based therapeutic treatment for BFRBs. (2024, September 17). TLC Foundation for Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors | BFRB. https://www.bfrb.org/articles/treatment-for-bfrbs