Facing the World: 7 Strategies for Being BFRB Brave in Social Situations

Living with trichotillomania is at once both a deeply personal experience and one that often intersects with the public as you go about daily life. The defining feature of trichotillomania, often referred to as trich or hair pulling, is the noticeable loss of hair due to repetitive pulling, making social situations particularly challenging. The noticeable hair loss can sometimes draw unwanted attention from others or lead to questions or comments, leaving you feeling judged or misunderstood. 

When dealing with a condition like trich, it’s important to remember that your trich does not define you. While you cannot control how others react, you can control how you respond and how you feel about yourself in these situations. With the right strategies, you can confidently manage social interactions, respond to inquiries with grace, and protect your self-worth in any situation.

7 Strategies for Managing Social Interactions

You’ve probably heard it before in some form or another – being prepared makes it more likely that you’ll succeed – and it’s true. There’s a reason athletes practice. There’s a reason musicians rehearse. And there’s a reason why kids have homework. Because practice prepares you for when you will need to use your skills.

Everyday life is no different. 

At some point, you’ll be in a social situation. It might be stressful. Having a plan, having strategies ready to go, means that you don’t have to stress about what to say or do. You’ll be able to draw on your skills to navigate through successfully.

1. Understand Your Disorder

It’s hard to share about your disorder with others if you don’t understand it yourself. Take time to learn about trich and how you experience it. If you choose to share, you’ll be able to speak about your experience with confidence and help others understand what you’re going through. 

2. Be Prepared for Questions

It’s natural for people to be curious or concerned when they notice something different about someone. Of course, you are under no obligation to explain your condition, and it’s always your choice whether to share or how much to share. Your willingness to share may also vary depending on the person or the situation. Having a response prepared can help you feel confident and in control of the situation. 

You may choose to keep it simple and direct, acknowledging the issue and moving on. For example: 

“I have a condition that causes hair loss, but I’m managing it.” 

You might decide that you want to share more. For example:

“I have a condition called trichotillomania that causes me to pull my hair (lashes/eyebrows) out. It’s something I’m working on.”

How much you choose to share is totally up to you. The key is to acknowledge and convey the information you wish to share confidently. Doing so can discourage further questions and help you steer the conversation in another direction if you so choose. 

3. Set Boundaries with Confidence

Sometimes, questions or comments can feel uncomfortable or even intrusive. Setting healthy boundaries can help you to manage those situations and protect your own well-being. It is always OK to set boundaries, even with your closest friends or loved ones. 

You can politely but firmly let others know when you prefer not to discuss your condition. For example, you might simply say, “I appreciate your concern, but I’d rather not talk about it right now.” 

Remember, you have the right to privacy and to decide how much you want to share.

4. Practice Mindfulness 

Social situations can be stressful, especially if you’re concerned about how others might react to your hair loss. Staying calm and present in the moment allows you to retain control. Mindfulness strategies can help you do that. 

Deep breathing is a simple yet powerful mindfulness strategy that you can use in almost any situation. Here’s how:

Before entering a social situation, take a few moments to practice some deep breathing. Focus on your breath, reminding yourself that you are in control of your responses, that you have a healthy plan for responding if you need it. Notice the sensations as your tension eases. 

Mindfulness helps you stay connected in the moment, rather than getting caught up in fear and anxiety about possible judgments or reactions.

5. Surround Yourself with Support 

Surrounding yourself with people who understand and support you can make navigating social situations less intimidating. Friends, family, or other circles of support that are aware of your trich can provide a safe space where you feel accepted and understood.

They can be a kind of buffer in more challenging social settings. Having someone by your side who knows what you’re going through can offer comfort and reassurance, helping you maintain your confidence and self-esteem. They can also help you to exit a situation safely if you find the need for more space.

6. Focus On the Positive

One of the most powerful things you can do for your own well-being is to remember that you are so much more than your hair or your trich. It does not define who you are. Focusing on your unique strengths and positive qualities can help to build a mindset of confidence and self-assurance.

• Take time each day to remind yourself of all the things you’ve accomplished, big or small, and the qualities that make you unique. By focusing on your positives, you can approach interactions with greater confidence.
• Give yourself grace on days when you’re struggling. (That’s a superpower!) 
• Celebrate every victory big or small. Whether it’s a quick chat with the clerk in the grocery store or discussing your hair loss with a new friend, recognize your ability to navigate social situations of all kinds on your own terms.  

7. Practice Positive Self-Talk

Your internal dialogue plays a crucial role in how you feel about yourself. Positive self-talk can boost your self-esteem and reduce anxiety, making it easier to engage with others without fear or shame.

If you find yourself engaging in negative self-talk, reframe those thoughts in a positive way. For example, instead of saying, “Everyone is going to judge me,” reframe the thought as “I’m more than my hair and I have lots of positive qualities I can share with others.” It might not sound much but shifting to a positive self-image fosters confidence. 

The Takeaway

Navigating social situations with trich can be challenging, but it doesn’t have to be fraught with fear and anxiety. With a sound plan and a little practice, you can manage social situations with confidence and grace. 

References

1. https://www.bfrb.org/articles/coping-strategies-for-dealing-with-bfrbs-in-daily-life